Impending depression and appreciating life

 

I just get so frustrated when people don’t do their work as they are supposed to, all of our lives are interconnected. Only if the worker ants do their jobs, can the queen have babies and the birds eat the baby ant thing, the cat eat the bird, the cat being tragically ending up in a curry pot somewhere in india.

Anger is something I feel but I don’t really give voice to it, its because I decided a long, long time ago that anger just takes up too many important brain cells, I do feel anger, red hot burning passionate hate, but it stays quiet. One day , when I have a possible weapon of mass destruction in my hand, a lot of people will suffer, till then you are safe -_- .

This is me ranting about work and incompetent fools, anyway, on to better topics, its hard since I have a lot of things to say about the former.

I’ve been struck with a case of writers block and a case of anxious itches, the melancholia that usually is followed by a bout of deep dark depression and a bout of inspiration. So I’m going to just let it pass.

I was on the way to work today and decided I wouldn’t hurry, just walk on by, looking at the school kids, the people hurrying to work, the smell of fried goods in the morning. Life is actually quite beautiful if you actually let it be without worrying about pollution and politics.

So got to office, and the door wasn’t open so I just stood outside, with my bags at my side reading my Wheel of Time book, till the office was opened, got here, and felt a craving for coffee and since the mcdonalds is just opposite, sent the peon to get me a cup, so I’m just here, a bit free today waiting for some work to be approved for me to work on.

Also I saw the the new Godzilla trailer, gosh darn it, it was so beautiful that I was bamboozled.

 

So I’m still trying to keep writing to keep sane

 

till next time, (when I will hopefully have more)

M

Coming back all bloody

It has been quite a bloody while since I wrote to everyone.

 

Well so far, I got myself a job. 2 weeks  +and going good, I like it here, the crowd is nice and the work, somewhat okay in my realm of shit-to-okay grading.

So far this seems good and I’ve started writing again, looks like im sort of back on track. So I don’t have much time but I want to make a repost of a note I did on my facebook titled itches #2 : On women

Also yeah Usual Disclaimer : My opinion, If you dont like, does it look like I care?

"I don’t want to sound like a feminist"

I hate that line, does it make you afraid to voice your opinion without the jeering and ridicule.

Usually I stay quiet about things, but sometimes it gets too far up there.

It’s strange that women nowadays have to be judged by the way they walk, they talk, the things they enjoy doing, the clothes they wear and the people they choose to associate with.

One thing I came across personally, and it annoys the stuffing out of me, "Oh so you are a mechanical engineer? Why did you choose that field? Isn’t it hard? " 

Buster! I chose it because I wanted to, I do not need to justify my choices to anyone other that myself. 

It’s not only for me, no matter what a woman does, there are so many out there to question and doubt for you...

Oh a civil engineer, are you sure? You will be on the field a lot? Oh a lawyer? What criminal law, won’t you be with all those murderers and rapists? Oh a doctor? Won’t you have little time for your family? Oh a political activist? That is a not a suitable field, isn’t it dangerous and troublesome? Oh a fashion designer? Are there even jobs here?

Well listen for a moment, read this words and realize

The WOMAN, she is not your ideal, she is HERS

SHE is not the damsel in distress; SHE is the DRAGONESS with her claws and breathes of fire

SHE is not the flower in the garden; SHE is the tallest tree with the DEEPEST roots

The WOMAN is not a poem in a book, a verse in a song; SHE is a SAGA and a BALLAD

This is not a note for the men, this one is for the ladies, realize that you are so much more than "their" doubts and their hopes for you.

YOU are not a marriage prospect, you are not a victim, and you are not responsible for the lusts of the ones that want to harm you or disrespect.

You are a woman, a luscious embodiment of life, you can love everyone and all, you are the reason the world exists, and you make more of us and more of them.

You are YOU. 

Whether you decide to work in a shop, a skyscraper, a cubicle, and Operation Theater or a site. Whether you wear long clothes or short. Whether you chose to have a family or work harder.

It is your choice. 

Our society has shamed women; they try to make us ashamed of being women. 

Fight. For you

Understand. For your future

Educate. For the ignorance

Found on tumblr :

Imagine this: Instead of waiting in her tower, Rapunzel slices off her long, golden hair with a carving knife, and then uses it to climb down to freedom.

Just as she’s about to take the poison apple, Snow White sees the familiar wicked glow in the old lady’s eyes, and slashes the evil queen’s throat with a pair of sewing scissors. Cinderella refuses everything but the glass slippers from her fairy godmother, crushes her stepmother’s windpipe under her heel, and the Prince falls madly in love with the mysterious girl who dons rags and blood-stained slippers.

Imagine this: Persephone goes adventuring with weapons hidden under her dress. Persephone climbs into the gaping chasm. Or, Persephone uses her hands to carve a hole down to hell. In none of these versions is Persephone’s body violated unless she asks Hades to hold her down with his horse-whips. Not once does she hold out on eating the pomegranate, instead biting into it eagerly and relishing the juice running down her chin, staining it red.In some of the stories, Hades never appears and Persephone rules the underworld with a crown of her own making.In all of them, it is widely known that the name Persephone means Bringer of Destruction.

Imagine this:Red Riding Hood marches from her grandmother’s house with a bloody wolf pelt. Medusa rights the wrongs that have been done to her.Eurydice breaks every muscle in her arms climbing out of the land of the dead.

Imagine this:Girls are allowed to think dark thoughts, and be dark things.

Imagine this:Instead of the dragon, it’s the princess with claws and fiery breathwho smashes her way from the confines of her castle and swallows men whole.

"

— 'Reinventing Rescuing,'

till next time

 

M

Its been a while again

 

Last month was a rollercoaster of ups and downs, when I say ups and downs, there were the  highs and the lowest of lows.

So I finally attended my graduation, got on the podium, received my roll of paper and smiled for the cameras. I felt sort of numb during and after that for a while, my friends were far more excited for my graduation that I was. It took me a while to understand why. The thing was I had relied on my Uni workload to give a direction for a while now, and now that it is all done and gone, I feel a bit empty of purpose, lazy to move on.

So here in December I contemplate what I have done and have to do for the future. The is some pressure form the ‘rents and my little sister doing he O/Ls this December. I want to know what to do next but for now it’s a jumble and I’m going to let it be for now. Let December take its toll.

I’ve been watching Sons of Anarchy these days and finishing off the first season, so far I like it, and still on that Wheel of Time reading spree on book 6 now, that’s half of the whole crow-begotten series.

I know this is a short post considering the rest of my posts but I’m still coming out of that funk and is reserving all my writing powers for something I have am working on.

So till next time

M :3

Lectures, Nintendos and prospective Angel-falling

 

Life has been a bit rocky, but who doesn’t go through those times. These are these people sometimes who are so low, that when you thought they cant get any worse, he hit a whole new level.

I don’t want to speak of such awful things, on a side note my work times have changed, from 8.30 to 5.30pm, to 9 to 5, so much better, with all the traffic in the morning and the rush in the evening, its amazing how much of a change half an hour can give.

So I’m lecturing tomorrow, its not like the practical's where I can do this or maybe that and get the result, and math isn't my favourite subject, I barely passed in school and the only reason I passed in campus is because of larger assignment deadlines and helpful friends.

So that’s all I can say for now, yeah life is pretty much boring, I have to wait for November for it to get any interesting, other than my brothers birthday this month [Note to self, make a butt-kicking birthday card], I don’t really see much happening this month, I think there maybe some events next month, and if one of my prospective job offers come through, I am totally set, plus I got some friends coming back down to SL.

Damn it, Its really hard to have a good time when your really good friends live in different continents –_–.

Anyway I’m trying to save up for a Nintendo 3DS_XL, but I would really thing the 2DS would be more affordable but its still not released and I’m not sure if SL will get it before christmas, but I’m totally up for buying it at christmas, first of all I must find a good retailer, the guys who I asked for gave me double the actual price, I was like WTF. Needless to say I wont be contacting them any time soon.

So the latest season of SPN is back on, I cant help but be totally spazzing. It was all, Hallelujah its raining Angels! last time and I have the latest Sleepy Hollow episode to watched, al downloaded and ready to be feasted on when I get home.

Cant forget that I must prepare for tomorrows lecture.

Till Next Time,

Yours Truly (also Diabolik Lovers was totally yeesh, bleugh)

 

M