Itches #3 : Religion (Part One)

 

//could lean too much towards Christianity, but its not about A religion, more like the concept of it.//

Religion, do we need it? or do we want it?

Do you believe in an omnipotent being(s) that looks over you and or guides you in every moment of your life?

This is what I call the choosing.

Choose

Some of us are born into religion, others find it, then there are ones who understand it, though not necessarily in the same ways.

Personally I dislike the ‘born into religion’ choice, sure my parents were of mixed religions, so you might argue that I didn’t have a strong religious up-bringing. Okay, so I might not have gone to sunday school every single day, sure my church attendance would not get any notice, so I might not have church friends and have BFF deep talks with my pastor (FYI I don’t have one), but that never stopped me from trying to understand my religion.

It does not mean I did not read the book, it does not mean I do not appreciate HIM, but neither do I think that he owes me anything.

Let me tell you what I have seen. Sure there may be those who genuinely praise their Gods, they may read their holy books, pray at the right times, pray in the right places, associate with the right people. But most of these people get lost, they get lost in their religion and forget what it means.

You pray in the right places, with the right people, you sing hymns with the right people, but are you praying for the right reasons. You read the good book out loud, you do grand gestures to help people, but do you understand those words, or the people who you are helping.

I think I found him when I was in the darkest of places, sure I don’t talk about it, its because what I have with the big man, its between me and him. He gave me this life, I’m not going to disappoint him, sure it is hard sometimes, makes me want to give up, but there is no reason to blame him. Your God is not in the sky, neither is he below, he is what we carry in our heart of hearts, in the deeds we do, in the lives we live, and in what we give back.

So people may question me why I never seem to make time for God, why I never seem to go to church, never seem to look like I am a child of God. So I say, what is between me and the big man and me, are between the big man and me. I can only work as hard as I can and try to be good for him and try not to disappoint him or my mother to badly.

Sure I have some really bad times, sure I question myself, question my choices, but would there be a reason for questioning him, no, he did give us free will, our choices, our will, maybe he might give us guidance, but it is still up to us for understanding it.

What brought this on?

Understanding

So much of the evil in the world, was started, is starting, by people, not by God or Gods, it is not caused by religion, it is started by people who think they are carrying out some instruction from a book.The book is a guideline, its not a step-by-step instruction. and like any piece of literature it can be interpreted in many ways.

A while back there was a debate between a science and creationism. I myself, at that point, must admit did not fully grasp at what I had commented against creationism, I think what my main comment was that ‘No one hate on Mr Darwin’.

Humans have tried for ages to explain Science with God or God with Science. Which I think is a silly argument, but it is also so human that I cannot help but love the reason behind it, we are intrinsically a curious breed.

I would prefer to think Science is a way to pave the way to understand God, to understand the beauty of a supernova through a telescope, to wonder at the intricate make up of the human nervous system so unlike anyone else, to study the effect of eating ice cream too fast.

Using God to explain science might seem like an ugly argument in the making.

The book of Luke being my favourite of the many books in the bible, right next to Genesis and Revelations, what is more beautiful that the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end, and the story of a child who grew up to change the world one hand, one smile and miracle at a time.

To the skeptics and the atheists, he might even have not been the child of god, but more than one person got together to write books about one man, doing good deeds, one man who help people, a human like you or I, with his friends, his family, armed with words, a beating heart, and a burning need to tell people that things should not be this way.

But honestly it isn't ugly, we are all a collection of atoms and molecules, we are a magnificent mixture of things that wouldn’t have to or need to come together in this particular order but it did. Hoe did we come together, I am this collection of particular atoms, if I had different atoms would my thought be different would I not like Tea as much, would I be a boy or would I not be human at all, I would like to say this is the point where I laugh maniacally.

God does not play dice with the universe, not normal dice anyway, he has a pair of infinite sided dices with a  never ending scorecard, he is the ultimate DM in the MMORPG of existence,  if you lean towards a poly-theistic belief, the more the merrier.

Lover, War, Science, Technology, Belief, it all comes down to people, our minds are such beautiful and terrible places, we create, we destroy, we believe and sometimes we try to understand.

 

……to be continued.

Pandora

 

It hits you between the eyes when you are alone making the bed. You realize that the last few years you’ve been doing that degree, working dawn to dusk, browsing for potential master programs, all to please the others, of course you don’t mind.

 

You celebrate their happiness, their achievements, you celebrate when they congratulate you on your achievements. But do you really feel it in your heart?

 

Do they realize what you sacrificed to be this? the dreams quietly filed away in a drawer, secreted between the pages of a book now lying on that old dusty shelf. You doubt it, if you think of it you fall into the rabbit hole of broken dreams.

 

But if you could do it all again, would you do any different? would you not do that degree? would you go out with that aimless yet funny guy? No? why? Is it because you realized it would not matter, because there was no one worth doing it all for. Not even You are worth it.

 

Now you work fifty four hours a week, stare aimlessly at a screen at work and come home and eat dinner mechanically, check your messages and go to sleep. Then on Sunday, you come to that drawer, open it and see what you have given up, cry a bit, sift through the dreams, then close it again.

 

Then smile your secret smile, the sad one, not the one you show the world, the private one that you show yourself only. Your box is akin to Pandora’s, though all those bad things might have escaped into the world, hope still lies within, waiting to be called out. That hope keeps you going, that one day everything will be alright.

Its all alright, I guess Its all alright, I’ve got nothing left inside of my chest, but its all alright. ~ F.U.N.

Confession

I watch as I wait for that girl to come, the coffee shop seems quiet in the dusk, the customers speak in low murmurs, Sunday night, the people sipping one last drink before they start another week again.

 

I finish my coffee as I look at the sun descending into a brick  laden horizon, there would be no stars out tonight, it was cloudy a desperate day, it looked.

 

“Shall we start?” says a voice next to me, I didn’t even see her walk up to me, there is nothing remarkable about her, another page in my book, I take out my pen and lick the nib in a familiar motion, waving the pen in her direction to continue.

 

She smiles, the little curve by corner of her lips fascinate me, like secrets are hidden by those dear folds of skin.

 

You know I get tired of being me, I tired of being that girl, this is my confession, Father forgive me, listen and hear my words, the words in my heart and soul, the words unspoken in the tears that fall onto my pillow in the darkness, listen to the words so many times swallowed to make someone else happy.

 

Let me tell you how I dies, of how society killed me and my dreams. And why I keep coming back.

 

Once upon a time I had dreams, dreams so full of hope and colours, the stars in my eyes, and now those lights are dimmed, I forget what they were, my dreams you see, they kept me alive during the shadows that filled the dark corners of my childhood.

 

I grew up, the corners are now darker, the shadows thicker, and my dreams aren't as bright enough to keep me from sinking into their cobwebbed depths.

 

Sometimes, it takes all I have to hear myself speak, it takes all I have to keep going for another day, nothing differs you see, wake, get dressed, go to work, come home, get ready for bed, sleep, repeat.

 

It is a boring repetition, but it is good, it keeps my lines straight and my colours within. Some days are harder than others when I do truly wake, sometimes the tears come at inopportune times, like when you are making tea, or ironing clothes, maybe just cleaning your desk and then it all crashes down, the cold indifference of society.

 

My 5 year plan? no that is society's five year plan, t he masters, the imaginary-hopeful husband hunting, the future house in the making, thank you society for deciding it all for me. Thank you, yes I am being sarcastic.

 

Listen here as I speak.

 

Just let me be me for a day? no? I guessed that, being me would annoy you and anger you wouldn’t it.

 

Sorry that I am a bad human, I want to break down once in a while too, sometimes the pain is far too much for one person, and then you come and tell me about your unwanted problems, so I have to listen, I am too nice, if I am not nice I am a bitch, fuck you, I don’t give a damn about you, I don’t give a damn about your issues, your boyfriend or girlfriend, I don’t give a flying fuck about the time you got drunk and got your ex’s name tattooed on you ass, I am fucking tired of taking your shit, I don’t want to know how happy you are, why the fuck would I care, I wouldn’t care if the guy next door is actually banging his wife's sister, not my fucking problem.

 

You know why, its not my business, I have enough strays in my head without your faux-help, this masquerade is getting old, I know you lie, I know she lies, and you know that I am aware of your deception, so why keep going, you embarrass yourself, I cant turn to any of you bitches if I am in trouble, you would be of no help, why would I bother.

 

Listen here as I speak.

 

They ask me why I am alone, maybe its because I cannot bother, hah, or is it just something I tell people who I just do not want to talk to about it, am I afraid? of course, being alone is safe, no heartbreak, no drama, but sometimes I want to be selfish, I want someone for myself, I do not want a large love like a Taj Mahal, I do not want it to be a raging river, maybe a feather floating down in the wind, slowly, steadily surely, maybe I want it strong, I don’t want it to be a Romeo and Juliet, that would be sad and suicidal, maybe Macbeth, his lady was crazy but she did want what's best for him, No, I was what Sam and Frodo had, devotion and faith, I want someone to never give up on me, even though I might have given up on myself, I will wait for you Samwise Gamgee, and I will give as good as it gets.

 

Its not always bad you know, I have my good times too, but sometimes they are so far away, a month away a month gone, but when I do have them, I laugh till my heart is full of love, till its so full that it banishes the darkness and lightens the corners of my mind, Till the sun itself would be jealous of the brightness of the memories I have.

 

She sighs as she draws a star on the misted glass of the shop front.

 

Last month a friend I hadnt met in years talked to me, she asked me what I was doing during the weekend I told her I planned to stay in and read a book, she laughed, saying the girl she knew never did that,she asked me if I was joking and not really partying it up. No I wasn’t, I felt bad, I realized what had been taken from me, my light had been taken away, my hope still there, dim but not overtaken by darkness, my faith, hidden under coats of comfort, my will surrounded by bands of my strength and my heart, that poor bruised thing, she's in a woven basket by the fire, manhandled, nearly broken, let down so many times, but not out, not yet, that soft muscle of tissue, arteries and veins, she will keep beating, because she knows if not, her strength will falter, he faith will be doubted, her hope lost and her will battling for her.

 

I will keep going no matter how many times you push me down, you know why, Because I will not give you the satisfaction of failing, till I find my way to the mountains of Mordor, to drop in the unwanted weights that hang on to me.

 

Its colder now, a slight drizzle had started, the sir cool around us, I can see her breath cloud as she breathes out, looking into the sky.

 

Why don’t you fight back?

 

Because I will never be free, and my heart loves too much to hurt those who hurt me, to hate those who kill me everyday, to forget those who should forget.

 

That is my fault, I care, I care too much.

 

I close my notebook and I look at my muse, thank you, I tell her, for sharing your story with me.

 

It was..the least I could do, you know, she tells me silently, I can never say no, not when someone asks so nicely, smiling a sad smile she closes her eyes and turns her face skyward, catching the rain on her face.

On Endings

 

Endings are bitter sweet but they are also freeing, like taking off a pair of tight shoes after a long, long day walking around in the hot sun.

Still among the living

 

So life has been a lot of ups and downs, the ups were up, but the downs were way, way down.

My job is okay, but for the sake of truth and to get everything off my chest, it is killing me. I’d rather not talk about it, not too much. I’m already living this, I’d rather not bring it into the place I do put in my otherwise quite jumbled thoughts.

So I’ve been dealing with a lot of myself, this might be a very selfish post, but then again, this is my blog, I’m allowed to be selfish and sick of life here.

So basically I’m here, head above water, barely enough time to sleep after fulfilling the usual role of catching up on the tv shows to keep me above all.

That aside, I’ve discovered that Ginn Hale and Megan Derr are also two of my favourite authors now, maybe because of their genres but perhaps their way of ending the stories. Or rather how they come to an end.

This post took me nearly 5 days to write and half an hour every morning when I get to the office early.

Also, True Blood is back, (FU, how could you do that to my handsome hairy friend), THE 100, fell in love, with the ice princess and the extreme bad boy (BELLARKE 5EVAH ) XD, what else, bI’m back on defiance somewhat, Teen Wolf is back for season 4, Dangnammit Jeff Davis, the shit you put us through, and varoius other thing that I might have missed since the last post..like the entire season 4 of Game of Thrones, yes I did fall in love with the Viper, and mourned him with all my feels. Hemlock Grove is coming back for season 2 (finally), oooh and how could I forget the beautiful Rhona Mitra in the Last Ship.

So I just wanted to make sure I could still write, and not clam up, I promise I will keep posting more frequently.

 

Till Next Time, (MWAZ)

M

Impending depression and appreciating life

 

I just get so frustrated when people don’t do their work as they are supposed to, all of our lives are interconnected. Only if the worker ants do their jobs, can the queen have babies and the birds eat the baby ant thing, the cat eat the bird, the cat being tragically ending up in a curry pot somewhere in india.

Anger is something I feel but I don’t really give voice to it, its because I decided a long, long time ago that anger just takes up too many important brain cells, I do feel anger, red hot burning passionate hate, but it stays quiet. One day , when I have a possible weapon of mass destruction in my hand, a lot of people will suffer, till then you are safe -_- .

This is me ranting about work and incompetent fools, anyway, on to better topics, its hard since I have a lot of things to say about the former.

I’ve been struck with a case of writers block and a case of anxious itches, the melancholia that usually is followed by a bout of deep dark depression and a bout of inspiration. So I’m going to just let it pass.

I was on the way to work today and decided I wouldn’t hurry, just walk on by, looking at the school kids, the people hurrying to work, the smell of fried goods in the morning. Life is actually quite beautiful if you actually let it be without worrying about pollution and politics.

So got to office, and the door wasn’t open so I just stood outside, with my bags at my side reading my Wheel of Time book, till the office was opened, got here, and felt a craving for coffee and since the mcdonalds is just opposite, sent the peon to get me a cup, so I’m just here, a bit free today waiting for some work to be approved for me to work on.

Also I saw the the new Godzilla trailer, gosh darn it, it was so beautiful that I was bamboozled.

 

So I’m still trying to keep writing to keep sane

 

till next time, (when I will hopefully have more)

M

True Blood and to-do lists

So I’ve been watching True Blood these days, on account of most of my shows being on hiatus for the Olympics and or out for the season.


Its not always vampires and surprise smexing, I do like the plot of TB, also I lurve the way that Bill says SOOKEH <3
Also Alexander Skarsgard does and absolutely goofy yet terrifying evil Eric. And the women in this are well much to be loved. But they grow on you.
Also Black Sails, the R-Rated version of Pirates of the carribean, oh my lord, just look at the hotness of Flint, Billy and *hommana homanna* Charles Vane *swoon*


I want to watch star-crossed a mid season premiere, dowloaded and ready for me to watch tonight

Starcrossed Trailer

An before I forget, an unparalleled book I was reading, beautiful, its reviews say it’s a mix between enders game, The hunger games and yes, oddly enough Game of thrones, its called Red Rising by Pierce Brown

The war begins...
Darrow is a Helldiver, one of a thousand men and women who live in the vast caves beneath the surface of Mars. Generations of Helldivers have spent their lives toiling to mine the precious elements that will allow the planet to be terraformed. Just knowing that one day people will be able to walk the surface of the planet is enough to justify their sacrifice. The Earth is dying, and Darrow and his people are the only hope humanity has left.
Until the day Darrow learns that it is all a lie. Mars is habitable - and indeed has been inhabited for generations by a class of people calling themselves the Golds. The Golds regard Darrow and his fellows as slave labour, to be exploited and worked to death without a second thought.
With the help of a mysterious group of rebels, Darrow disguises himself as a Gold and infiltrates their command school, intent on taking down his oppressors from the inside.
But the command school is a battlefield. And Darrow isn't the only student with an agenda...

So that’s the deal, I’ve been recommending it to anyone who listens.
So other than entertainment, lets see what’s new about me.
I’ve completed like one whole month at my new work place by the 20th and will be getting paid for my hard work and labour ( I kid, the only thing that is labourious is the walk to the bus stand :3 ).
Anyway I do love the new place, some things are harder to love, but not bad enough to hate. Sometimes the work load is non-existent, and at other times, there is so much work, my already cluttered mind forgets to call Amma (got shit for that yesterday, called her today after lunch.)
I guess I am a nervous person by nature, I keep worrying what people think of me sometimes or something I said. Sometimes this keeps me up at night, well for a little while till I am lost in dreams of spaceships and mutants.
Meanwhile I continue working, minimizing my facebook and blogger tabs, also io9 and kotaku :3, also, for some reason I can access Jezebel only through a proxy, why in the world, tsk tsk.

anyways, till I remember or do something Juicy.
M

Coming back all bloody

It has been quite a bloody while since I wrote to everyone.

 

Well so far, I got myself a job. 2 weeks  +and going good, I like it here, the crowd is nice and the work, somewhat okay in my realm of shit-to-okay grading.

So far this seems good and I’ve started writing again, looks like im sort of back on track. So I don’t have much time but I want to make a repost of a note I did on my facebook titled itches #2 : On women

Also yeah Usual Disclaimer : My opinion, If you dont like, does it look like I care?

"I don’t want to sound like a feminist"

I hate that line, does it make you afraid to voice your opinion without the jeering and ridicule.

Usually I stay quiet about things, but sometimes it gets too far up there.

It’s strange that women nowadays have to be judged by the way they walk, they talk, the things they enjoy doing, the clothes they wear and the people they choose to associate with.

One thing I came across personally, and it annoys the stuffing out of me, "Oh so you are a mechanical engineer? Why did you choose that field? Isn’t it hard? " 

Buster! I chose it because I wanted to, I do not need to justify my choices to anyone other that myself. 

It’s not only for me, no matter what a woman does, there are so many out there to question and doubt for you...

Oh a civil engineer, are you sure? You will be on the field a lot? Oh a lawyer? What criminal law, won’t you be with all those murderers and rapists? Oh a doctor? Won’t you have little time for your family? Oh a political activist? That is a not a suitable field, isn’t it dangerous and troublesome? Oh a fashion designer? Are there even jobs here?

Well listen for a moment, read this words and realize

The WOMAN, she is not your ideal, she is HERS

SHE is not the damsel in distress; SHE is the DRAGONESS with her claws and breathes of fire

SHE is not the flower in the garden; SHE is the tallest tree with the DEEPEST roots

The WOMAN is not a poem in a book, a verse in a song; SHE is a SAGA and a BALLAD

This is not a note for the men, this one is for the ladies, realize that you are so much more than "their" doubts and their hopes for you.

YOU are not a marriage prospect, you are not a victim, and you are not responsible for the lusts of the ones that want to harm you or disrespect.

You are a woman, a luscious embodiment of life, you can love everyone and all, you are the reason the world exists, and you make more of us and more of them.

You are YOU. 

Whether you decide to work in a shop, a skyscraper, a cubicle, and Operation Theater or a site. Whether you wear long clothes or short. Whether you chose to have a family or work harder.

It is your choice. 

Our society has shamed women; they try to make us ashamed of being women. 

Fight. For you

Understand. For your future

Educate. For the ignorance

Found on tumblr :

Imagine this: Instead of waiting in her tower, Rapunzel slices off her long, golden hair with a carving knife, and then uses it to climb down to freedom.

Just as she’s about to take the poison apple, Snow White sees the familiar wicked glow in the old lady’s eyes, and slashes the evil queen’s throat with a pair of sewing scissors. Cinderella refuses everything but the glass slippers from her fairy godmother, crushes her stepmother’s windpipe under her heel, and the Prince falls madly in love with the mysterious girl who dons rags and blood-stained slippers.

Imagine this: Persephone goes adventuring with weapons hidden under her dress. Persephone climbs into the gaping chasm. Or, Persephone uses her hands to carve a hole down to hell. In none of these versions is Persephone’s body violated unless she asks Hades to hold her down with his horse-whips. Not once does she hold out on eating the pomegranate, instead biting into it eagerly and relishing the juice running down her chin, staining it red.In some of the stories, Hades never appears and Persephone rules the underworld with a crown of her own making.In all of them, it is widely known that the name Persephone means Bringer of Destruction.

Imagine this:Red Riding Hood marches from her grandmother’s house with a bloody wolf pelt. Medusa rights the wrongs that have been done to her.Eurydice breaks every muscle in her arms climbing out of the land of the dead.

Imagine this:Girls are allowed to think dark thoughts, and be dark things.

Imagine this:Instead of the dragon, it’s the princess with claws and fiery breathwho smashes her way from the confines of her castle and swallows men whole.

"

— 'Reinventing Rescuing,'

till next time

 

M

Its been a while again

 

Last month was a rollercoaster of ups and downs, when I say ups and downs, there were the  highs and the lowest of lows.

So I finally attended my graduation, got on the podium, received my roll of paper and smiled for the cameras. I felt sort of numb during and after that for a while, my friends were far more excited for my graduation that I was. It took me a while to understand why. The thing was I had relied on my Uni workload to give a direction for a while now, and now that it is all done and gone, I feel a bit empty of purpose, lazy to move on.

So here in December I contemplate what I have done and have to do for the future. The is some pressure form the ‘rents and my little sister doing he O/Ls this December. I want to know what to do next but for now it’s a jumble and I’m going to let it be for now. Let December take its toll.

I’ve been watching Sons of Anarchy these days and finishing off the first season, so far I like it, and still on that Wheel of Time reading spree on book 6 now, that’s half of the whole crow-begotten series.

I know this is a short post considering the rest of my posts but I’m still coming out of that funk and is reserving all my writing powers for something I have am working on.

So till next time

M :3

I’ve been away

 

Too tired to write it all down, I’ll just list it here

• Quit working on campus
• got that other job
• Training for this is crazy
• not going to speak of it so don’t ask
• I fucking hate the cliches, WTF are you writing cliches
• my back hurts
• bought a load of make up
• in love with liquid liner
• peace out bitches
• also charlie <3

Oy Vey

So I died, wait no, I got through an extremely boring graduation, its been a very very boring and stressful week, its been strange to say the least.

I’ve been catching up with all the Red Vs. Blue episodes. And for now that is all.

I am trying to remember what I am supposed to say here, oh yeah I’m quitting from my current job, to work as a volunteer for the CHOGM, to be held in SL.

I also seem to have less and less time on my hands once again.

 

Till I remember something to update about,

M

Lectures, Nintendos and prospective Angel-falling

 

Life has been a bit rocky, but who doesn’t go through those times. These are these people sometimes who are so low, that when you thought they cant get any worse, he hit a whole new level.

I don’t want to speak of such awful things, on a side note my work times have changed, from 8.30 to 5.30pm, to 9 to 5, so much better, with all the traffic in the morning and the rush in the evening, its amazing how much of a change half an hour can give.

So I’m lecturing tomorrow, its not like the practical's where I can do this or maybe that and get the result, and math isn't my favourite subject, I barely passed in school and the only reason I passed in campus is because of larger assignment deadlines and helpful friends.

So that’s all I can say for now, yeah life is pretty much boring, I have to wait for November for it to get any interesting, other than my brothers birthday this month [Note to self, make a butt-kicking birthday card], I don’t really see much happening this month, I think there maybe some events next month, and if one of my prospective job offers come through, I am totally set, plus I got some friends coming back down to SL.

Damn it, Its really hard to have a good time when your really good friends live in different continents –_–.

Anyway I’m trying to save up for a Nintendo 3DS_XL, but I would really thing the 2DS would be more affordable but its still not released and I’m not sure if SL will get it before christmas, but I’m totally up for buying it at christmas, first of all I must find a good retailer, the guys who I asked for gave me double the actual price, I was like WTF. Needless to say I wont be contacting them any time soon.

So the latest season of SPN is back on, I cant help but be totally spazzing. It was all, Hallelujah its raining Angels! last time and I have the latest Sleepy Hollow episode to watched, al downloaded and ready to be feasted on when I get home.

Cant forget that I must prepare for tomorrows lecture.

Till Next Time,

Yours Truly (also Diabolik Lovers was totally yeesh, bleugh)

 

M

Paydays and Plain Tea

 

I’ve lamented the boredom of last week and this week, my schedule is totally filled up. Not that I am complaining. Also they extend my contract for another month till I find a job more fitting.

So yesterday was payday, I went and bought shoes, yes, shoes, a pair of flats that reminded my sister and I of the cat in the hat, (sister calls my shoes, thing 1 and thing 2). And a pair of aqua, or is it teal? heels. And also bought a few over due birthday presents, took care of a few necessities that I promised to take care of and ended up with only a miniscule fraction of the initial amount, which was then spent today to come to work. I seriously need to find a better paying job. So here I am drinking a cup of gingery though slightly watery plain tea and blogging and have a on-stop yawn session.

Other than that I cant say there is anything new-ish to tell you about, I did finish watch 3 anime series that I really wanted to finish up. But still a load of them to watch. Its quite boring, nothing much to note.

Also the traffic in the Wellawatta area is pure hell in the mornings, seriously, I mean just to get from point A to point B which usually takes maybe 5 to 10 minutes become a trial and a half that lasts for around half an hour. I just got too late to come in the bus and took a trishaw through marine drive. I’ve been watching sleepy hollow which I think is totally cool and the monsters are creeepy, love it, I want to start watching American Horror Story but too much of a pansy.

Now you see, I’m a big Marvel fan, and DC too. But the recent tv series that are cropping up are a giant let down for me anyway, Now Smallville I loved, maybe till season 5 and half of 6. Arrow was, well, the actor who played Oliver Queen was a let down, he comes off as a prat, even when he is being your friendly neighbourhood vigilante. and Marvels Agents of Shield, Which  was dearly waiting for, which I regret to inform, sort of disappointed me during the first episode, I loved Coulson and all but, there was something missing, maybe I should watch more episodes before giving my final judgment.

So I gotta go now,

and do some work,

Till next time,

M.

Thursday Last and Today

 

So last week was a whirlwind of work and fun, Thursday, last (I love saying that) was a poya holiday, so my friends and I decided to posh it out by going to a tea house, or rather a tea lounge, so we ended up at the Dutch Hospital in Fort, don’t let the name fool you, its not really a hospital now, rather a very beautiful area to hang around, you’ll find quaint restaurants, tea shops, shops and place to just hang around.

Its like you literally walk into an area where the past and the present are an ecletic mix, with the older buildings in the Dutch Fort area and across the road the World Trade Center, all metal and urbanized right infront of it.

So we ended up there early waiting for the rest of the gang to show up and ended up moving onto the dilmah t-lounge, since it was a poya we had to call ahead and see if it was open, and yes it was (thankfully) we had hoped to go to the museum unfortunately it was closed.

Anyway the tea lounge was fantastic, the service excellent and the tea menu was to die for.

And after we headed over to the Galle face, walking, sniggering at the numerous couples under  umbrellas and salivating over the not so healthy stuff being sold here and there.

So after we caught a cab and headed for the colombo book fair, just let me say this was a mother loving RUSH, so many books and stalls no way to buy them all (oh the woes of a book lover).

So I managed to find a few books and run, but unfortunately not getting a way to say good bye to my friends proper like because of the crowds.

So that’s what happened last Thursday, this thursday has gone to the bloody dogs, I’m bored as a librarian in a boiler room, and I’m itching to write some thing, I originally planned to write more in this post but, I just cant find the motivation, and guess what –_– its shark week for me again…grr..

Till next time

ever the bored and frustrated,

M

Seriously this week

Why isnt this week moving faster Imma tad pissed off

Responsibilities of a ‘proper’ Sri Lankan and more about the gossip grapevine

 

While my weekend was quite enjoyable, hanging out with old buds and new. After I came back, I felt like something was missing, like something uncomfortable lodged between two ribs on my side. I have yet to figure out what it is.

I’m at work today, no specific lectures for me, but work around here is getting tedious, lots of documentation, I’m not too much of a fan, but at least its something I can do to alleviate my boredom –_– . I’ve been applying here and there trying to see if I can get another by the time my contract here is finished. While it is pleasant enough working here, I must have said this lot of times before, that I am so very jobless and bored most of the time. I’d prefer a job with a bit more action, and a bit more cushioning on my purse wouldn’t hurt either.

This brings me to the topic of Responsibility and Obligations and the horror of having a sri lankan extended family, I believe that everybody has their own responsibilities to themselves and to their family and all that jazz, but there is a difference between helping someone out and living off them.

In a country like sri lanka, if you are sri lankan you would know that there are many people, not only your family, your relatives, that means all of them, your father cousins and uncles and aunts and your mothers side of things, its all a giant jumble, and not to mention your neighbours, your parents friends, your friends parents, the guy who you buy reloads from, to the guy who sells kanda at the top of the road know what you are doing. That means they are all watching to see your rise to greatness or your dramtic fall, which they will whisper talk to each other over a cup of tea and marie biscuit, it might go something like this:

Next door neighbour (at kanda shop) : Ahh give me one kanda, aney did you know that the older girl or Mr So-and-so, just got her degree, must have money ahh.

Kanda Guy : Ah yes, I see that missy all the time waiting for the bus early in the morning.

Neighbour : Yes, but I don’t think the younger one is good at all, always playing with the animals and listening to music

……………………………

Kanda Guy : Machan, have you heard, So-and-so’s loku daughter is now a big shot engineer lu, money neh

Reload fellow : Ah really, the girl who take the bus XXX right? yes yes, she takes reloads from here

Kanda Guy : Atleast the older one is good, the younger one is supposed to be useless it seems.

Reload fellow : Ah really, how do you know?

KG : You don’t need to know that, I am very close to that family. I guess now all she has to do is get married then

…………………………….

Reload Guy (to aunt who uses same shop) : Ah Mrs P, I heard your niece has gotten good results

Aunt : Ahh yes, she has got first class you see, top of the batch (90% of siri lankans exaggerate if you didn’t know)

RG : So is she getting married soon?

Aunt : Why would you say that?

RG : A friend of the family told something like that, I was just wondering

Aunt : Ahh really, well as far as I know, she isnt.

……………………………………

Aunt (on phone to grandmother/brother in UK) : I heard the elder girl was getting married now that she has done he first class

Grandmother: WHAT!!! I wasn’t told, did she even have a boyfriend, this is what happens to the new generation, they forget us as soon as they get higher in life.

Aunt : I know aney, even when I live close, they didn’t even call me and tell, I had to here from a shop boy

…………………………….

So on and on and it will go and by the time you will here of it, you’d have done a Phd, engaged to a rich fellow, having the wedding in the Cinnamon Grand.

This is how your gossip circles will happen most of the time, not that this exact thing has happened personally, its just I have had experience observing such behavior from the family members and neighbours I have known.

With this will come people who will be all, ahh they are rich and educated, why don’t we go ask some money from them, listen you idiots, BEING EDUCATED DOESN’T MEAN WE’RE FILTHY RICH, our parents earned that money the hard way, just because we have enough for a degree doesn’t mean we get high paying jobs at once or that we are swimming in money, or every time we close our drawers we hear *cha-ching* , and if you fail to deliver you are automatically, the evil rich, selfish bastards who don’t deserve your consideration, then you’ll go from an engaged, doctorate earned older daughter, to the fast girl who spent all her parents money on useless private universities.

This is the way the kokis crumbles over here. I get frustrated, I know the good thing is helping people but with some, it ends up with them living off you.

Responsibilities in Sri Lanka, are like a sticky fly trap, once you get caught you cannot leave, you are the subject of gossip and interest, that’s why, in my opinion its best to migrate at some point in your young life to work abroad and enjoy life, come back for marriage and or if you get a good deal take the people who matter back out there. I love Sri Lanka, there is no place on earth I would exchange for my lovely country but sometimes, even patriots can be fed up of all the BS they have to deal with on a daily basis.

Well, I’ll be off for now,

Till next time,

M.

The English language and why I am not so against at the (past) occupation of Sri Lanka

 

The English language, I was thinking earlier this week, is a bit of the pariah tongue, it’s a mix and mash of everything out together and nothing remotely original, sometimes no means yes and yes means no, and sometimes questions are statements when they really are not.

So I genuinely like the English language but it’s a bit of a bastard tongue, I have no problems with it, maybe at one point there was an original language. But then the invaders and defenders and then the conquerors and the conquered all became part of the early British or pre-British empire, which means it was influenced by the Anglo-Saxons, Germanic and Latin languages. Until it has become what it was today.

It is quite interesting to know the history of the language and how it became what it is, or what the basic language from all was, until it was further influenced after the British empire went on conquering and trading with the other countries and then developed certain words that were integrated into it, though some of the root words from old English remain most are now warped or developed according to the time and the use.

What brought my contemplation, who knows, I've been known to pursue strange interests as they strike my fancy, nothing in particular to be sure.

Perhaps because of the history of Sri Lanka, we have a history of occupation by different countries, and how they may have affected us and them alike. The Portuguese, the Dutch and the British had a hand in all that.

So many people would be a tad bitter for the white man who may have come and taken over our lands, all that. I am..strangely enough, not so bitter about the whole thing.

For one, while our little country was in some parts advanced (the magnificent architecture and kingdom building) it was also an Island , that is both the best and the worst part, because while the isolation would have made the country grow and develop, it would still be far behind, if we didn’t have outside influence, maybe I’m a bit of a novice when explaining this, so I will try my best.

Sri Lanka does have a caste system, though it is very much forgotten by the younger generations and not much thought given, these were referred to as Kula. These had more power during the feudal years when the different kingdoms were still in strength, in present times, it is the older generation or the more traditional crowd, mostly from the central province (Kandy and such) and the southern provinces who give a lot of thought to it, I don’t know much about the Northern provinces though I wish I did, as the Kingdom of Jaffna was once a power onto itself, and the eastern provinces too. A list of castes can be found here.

And I have a slight hunch that should we have been allowed to flourish alone and without outside influence that these caste systems might have gotten a tad bit out of hand and the country made more like India and its hopelessness and inability to develop die to its adherence to the caste system and being unable to break free from the rote.

So the invaders did good as well as bad, with their incursions, we learned much, more culture, knowledge, literature, technology, many would say this might also have stunted our growth, but you see Sri Lanka of old wasn’t really a sea-faring exploration happy people, they were content like they are now, maybe its just me, but I would say that Lankans are very much a very relaxed people, who don’t usually go out looking for adventure, except a select few. The furthest we may have gone would be India, Bangladesh, Malaysia/Singapore, etc.…the more closer countries. The trade route helped of course, affectionately termed The Monsoon Marketplace by John Green in one of his crash course episodes.

This is why I’m not very much against the whole thing, there are pros and cons of the whole she-bang, but I’m a glass half-full kind of person, so this is what I think of the whole.

Not that I think that Sri Lankan is useless, my country is a gold mine of culture and marvelous things if you know what you are searching for, we have several literary geniuses, architects, engineers, doctors and all that, I was merely stating, as I will say again..and opinion, my opinion.

Its an interesting topic to be sure, now I feel like I should read up on it more.

I’d like it if my readers left me a comment or their own ideas about their views, its always nice to know what everyone else thinks too.

Till Next Time,

M

IS it done, really? is it?

So I find myself free for the lack of a better word, maybe jobless, but I cant quite say that either, I do have a job, yet it leaves me with a clear schedule most of the time.

I finished my finals, all is done, and there is one presentation then all clear, well as long as I don’t have any resit, Blessed Moon, may I not have any resits, though I am not 100% confident in my first class marks, I know I have a damn good chance of passing.

Its been a melancholy couple of days, I need to find a better paying, better working job, and now that my degree is over I might have way more chances. Sometimes I wonder how people survive, with only saturdays and sundays free, I know I really miss all the free time I had before.

Now I have a crap load of books, anime and movies to catch up on, and not to mention the tv shows.

One of my oldest friends have come down from the UK, so was chatting with him and discovered, how much and how little we had changed. September seems to be the month for meet ups, I’ve got plans for this weekend and the next.

For some reason I feel like I lost something these days, I find myself wondering my room, or back tracking thinking, I know I forgot something, way too many times, I’m going to chalk it up to my mojo. Its all been used up with these past weeks of deadlines, exams and droughts of inspiration. SO I’ve got to build it up. Get some coffee or tea or just get some sun.

I need to go now,

so goodbye for now

M

Ode to the pretty boy in the red shorts

 

It was this wednesday as I got on the 101 bus, a bunch of guys (possibly schooling, I don’t know, they all look very made, with tight shirts and nice shoulders, I saw this one guy in little red shirts, they were not short enough to be short shorts, or long enough to come to the knee, and tight across him bottom, which made my inner girl, purrr, so I need to write this down, you’ll find out why.

When I saw you first you were laughing with your friends,

Snickering and smiling.

School holidays at end.

From the corner of my eye I peeked at your form.

Tight black T-shirt, and those devilish red shorts.

When you got on the bus, I praised my luck.

I really, really, really.

wanted to see your butt.

And so I sidled my sight down,

as you reached up to the railing, your T-shirt slid up.

It was all I could do, to shut my groan up.

Young nubile boys, how you make me blush,

Wide shoulders, nice posteriors and those Adams apple

I just want a touch.

Yet it wasn’t meant to be,

As my bus stop came up.

I choked out excuse me.

And I got the hell out.

Yet you remain in my thoughts,

My sylph in red,

So to you I write this,

Please get out of my head.

I must study for my finals, yet you weave naughty thoughts,

Now shoo you handsome devil,

Red shorts and all.

~M

Self impose Hiatus and control

 

So the last few weeks, I put most everything on hold, movies, anime (well except SnK), new music, books (YES, IT IS TORTURE). With the ultimate goal of studying my bottom off, so far, its working to a certain extent. So I won’t put up a long post today, you can expect a long one next week or so, I am still completing my Gagra story, for anyone who even reads it, you can find the chapters so far on the right side of the blog.

And this is September so I have a lot of things planned, I just hope it does stay on plan, free time ahead and after this Fridays exam and a viva on Sunday I am home free from any studies, WOOHOO. And I can start job hunting, while the current post is okay, I need something with a bit more action and actual work, September will have me baking (oh sweet sugar cakes the things I could make), hanging out with friends, watching a back log of anime and tv series, art-ing, sleeping, and generally sitting in front of my laptop with a cup of tea  :3, I am also going to the Logos Book-ship , yes book ship, it’s a ship with books. Haven't decided when though, and the book fair.

So much to do so little time.

So I leave you with this, Happy september and may the odds be ever in your favour.

M

P.S. Have some art I scribbled yesterday