Of Dancers and Drama

 

My first final was yesterday, it was an okay paper I’m not terribly happy with how I did it but cant really help, as far as I know, its dead and buried, so I shant speak of it.

I also noticed that I use a lot of mixed English, when I mean mixed English I mean the different slang terms, pronunciations, and wordings, for instance, I wrote something recently on reddit and happened to mention a bus halt, someone asked me if we say bus halt rather than bus to here in SL, yes we do, is it british, is it American, not really sure. This is what you call Sri Lankan English, its completely legitimate.

Topic change ;)

I ended up drawing a sketch of Roldolf Nureyev, for those who are not in the know he is one of the best male ballet dancers of all time second only to Vaslav Nijinsky (in my opinion anyway.

Here he is pictured with the most beautiful and talented Julie Andrews.

and him alone here:

This reminds me of the golden era of performers, the ones who had the purest of talent untouched by special effects, auto-tune or voiceovers. By the way this was not really oh look hot guy, now I like the olden days things, I do truly treasure those golden years, the early 1900’s particularly was a magnificent age of art and dance and the consecutive years showed the fruits through the artists of the time, through dance and music, to art and pop culture.

Sure history is written by the victors of wars, remembered through the battles won, lands gained and lost. But it is civilizations’ advancement through the invention, and innovation of man that is the evaluator , is not Da Vinci, Michelangelo, Bellini , Van Gogh, Picasso, down in history, what about Plato, Socrates, Descartes, Yan Xishan( Came across him when I was helping my sister revise) , Neruda, Keats, Shakespeare. Wars may be what tells us what happened when one man and another butted heads, but it is the art and beauty of that age that is remembered dearly, no one wants to remember bloody fields and death counts, (maybe some would but that’s not the point).

The creativity of the human race must be celebrated think of the person who came by the wheel, bless his face, whoever he is , if not for him where would we be?

I find myself going off topic so much these days, actually everyday.

I ended up skyping with some really old school friends, one who I hadn't spoken t in like 4 years, we ended up talking nonsense, making fun of each other and generally having a good time. I also ended up giving them my tumblr url then burning in shame that they see how advance I am in my education of the world…also the fact that I drew pr0n, seemed to to affect them too much.

Sometimes I think of how I have changed, people say change comes gradually, I think for me its comes like those old cartoons where Wile E. Coyote is running, and ends up off a cliff and falls only when he looks down, that’s how I view the change in my life, it hits me all at once with the world falling out beneath my feet. And I end up banging my head on the wall and going, I cant believe I was that stupid.

I also want to say sorry for that last post if it was too depressing, all I can say it, I was on that time of the month XD.

I seriously cant wait for my exams to end, my mother is taking me saree shopping, I’m not much of a fan, not really easy to walk or run in, and by the heavens, going to the ladies room is a task in itself.

I’m supposed to be studying for my thermodynamics paper on Tuesday, not too fond of the subject, but I do like some areas of it, the theoretical parts anyway. I ended up studying in the morning, then reading ‘The Dragon Reborn’, the third book in the Wheel of Time series by Robert Jordan, I wont even try to explain it to anyone, it is an epic, its has the cliché thing about the the chosen one vs. evil, but nothing about this story is cliché, just reading one book puts a heavy burden on you like you are one of characters and you are yourself deeply embroiled in the heavy business going around. Unlike the ASOIF series (Game of thrones, book series, for the tv series fans) you can actually imagine yourself as a character in the universe, now in the GoT universe you don’t want that with everyone dying, you’d have a fraction of a chance to survive past lunch.

jeez gotta go,

Later Gator,

M

A post about me.

As I stated before, I find myself bored yet again, so I am blogging, I feel a headache creeping in, the point behind my eyes ache and my shoulders feel knotted, I feel strange about putting up my problems here but, then again, this is my blog and for once people, just listen.

Sometimes I feel that even when I am in a crowd people tend to not hear my words, literally, either they ignore me or just forget my presence. I’ve long grown used to it; maybe there is an air of something about me. The same something that makes people talk to me and tell me things they wouldn’t usually tell, and I listen and keep those whispered, laughing spoken, tearfully confessed tidbits to myself, because they are precious, should they be colorful pieces of cloth, I’d store them in tiny glass bottles and hide them in a treasure chest, because the human condition fascinates me, it is an enigma, the beautiful dark blots, the glaring whites and the multitude of grays in between. I would gladly be your scribe and your chronicler, let me embrace your mind and your memories, what these ears hear or eyes see, this mouth will not speak, nor this hand write.

For all those beautiful people who have confided in me, thank you, you are all precious to be, thank you for giving me your voices.

But this comes at a price, there are so many things that I yearn to speak to tell, sometimes even I wish that there is someone to hear my words when I fall into those bouts of sudden depression, no one really knows about them except once person, one really close friend who I managed to confess to. I am eternally grateful for her; she is one of those people whose existence saves mine. For she is the only one my tongue will loosen, not my parents nor my siblings.

For those who know me close and are my good friends, even those who just hang around me would never know me being depressed to such an extent. I’m always laughing and smiling, and making awkward jokes, even when I want to cry or just fall to the floor and hug my knees, I might get angry occasionally, maybe pissed off sometimes, sometimes nervous and confused, but no one ever sees when I am depressed, I’m too good at hiding it, but there is a book that I keep, one that I write in when I feel like the dirt beneath my feet. It is filled with a story of a man, trapped in a dark room, starving and drowning in the darkness. The story starts and stops over the various periods of depression, I feel like I should burn it sometimes, it is a memoir to the darkest parts of my life. But then again I keep it, it is the truest part of me that I can think of, and I do not want to lose that.

I can say without any hesitation, I am like a leaf in the wind sometimes, yet sometimes this wind is a gale that threatens to tear me apart. Responsibilities and Expectations, I want to groan and turn away but they catch me, responsibilities hold me to a path made for me, studies and jobs, where I am today, and expectations hold me to my word, expected to hold on when the path is not what you want, expected to get good grades and become the provider. Expected to smile and get on with my life when I want to scream and cry. I am expected to hold back my tears and swallow my cries of pain and just move on.

It just gets hard to move on, but the thing is I do, people rely on me to not break to hold their hand and to high five them and to tell them it gets better,  so I do, because I genuinely care about you, and I know the importance of have someone to be your soundboard, this is why no matter how much I am sick inside, and tired, I will always be there to answer your calls, to give you the pat on your back and the hug. It is the reason why I hand make each birthday card, anniversary card and just strange cards for my friends and family, because to me you are all special and you deserve to be differentiated from the masses on that one day, you are special to yourself.

I am not asking for special treatment, I am not asking for anything, for once, just listen and keep my secret, bottle it up and hide it away in some secret place.

This is my confession, this is my story.

Thank you, dear reader.

For listening or rather reading my words.

Forever yours,

The melancholic M

The usual mismash, exam prepping and thoughts in the evening

So I’ve been recovering from a horrid cough/sneeze fest from last week, still a tad sniffy, but recovering well. Also with my finals coming up, so I’m studying and prepping all in all. I’m bored that’s for sure, studies were never the thing that held my interest, maybe a random topic, but never for long. I’ve tried many many times to study some subjects but I find myself unable to concentrate. Work is far more boring than I thought, and my laptop just died on me, there is something wrong with my charger or something, and I have no way to confirm till I get home.
So here I am blogging, yawning periodically and sighing. I’m taking the day off tomorrow anyway to study; I have an exam on Thursday. I find myself thinking on things long past and things that may be, I’m not usually this contemplative, but I think any girl on her period is allowed to be a tad moody,[sorry gents if that made you cringe, but that’s a fact of life] thoughtful is a mood I often find myself in, at other times its just mad at the world and craving tea.
I found myself in the bus yesterday somewhere around 6.25 and 6.30 in the evening, I had gotten a window seat and my hair banglets were blowing behind me, and realised that this was now one of my favourite times of the day. It is not quite dusk and not the night, but darkness has fallen but it still has the aftertaste of sun in its mouth, the wind that blows though the window has a hint of relief in it, cool and comforting as if to say, come on buddy let’s get you home. Not that I don’t like the day, while it is sometimes very warm the best part of the day is when the first rays of the day strike your face, not the hot, sweaty kind of warmth, but like the warm of freshly buttered toast or the feeling of peppermint facewash when you wash it off.
My cat Cleo seems to be pregnant again, so we’re trying to keep her healthy and not try to kill her periodically by smushing her with hugs, she lost her kittens last time because she wasn’t able to feed them properly, the only person more distraught than her was probably me, since I was the one who sat with her while she gave birth and moved around the kittens so she wouldn’t accidently sleep on them.
I mourn the time I don’t have, I wish I had some extra time to go eat ice cream with my friends, or just bake weird things, but as the year comes to an end I realize things might just get better. Because sometimes it seems that it cant get worse, yet it does, it grows darker and darker, bu then the sun shines and continues to shine though, so I wait for my sunshine for now, and it will come I am sure of it.
Oh also yesterday I saw a bus conductor who looked like Bruce Willis, so those who travel on the 101 Moratuwa-Pitakotuwa bus just keep an eye out, you might just meet the guy.
I’m bored and so I might put up another post today, or not, I feel restless…and now I am craving something chocolaty.
But I’ll have to wait, its lunch now. So I’m off .
Till next time dear readers.
M
P.S. *NSYNC did a comeback am totally psyched.

On deadlines, hush-hush situations and B.S. levels

 

So before anything, this is an old post that I didn’t upload, this was supposed to go up a week before.

So this post may contain strong personal opinions, possible swearing and an author who

Before I begin anything I want to thank everyone for the feed back for my post on tolerance and misconceptions of the feminist views, I got some very good feedback, people told me that they felt quite the same and ended up in lengthy discussions about the many sides of feminist values, It is seriously like a six-sided dice, but I wont go into it today.

So 2 weeks ago, I had a serious deadline, its so serious that if I don’t meet it, I will end up the useless child for the rest of my life (refer JehanR's Golden child and useless child) and my mom, made me a flask of tea to keep me company while I typed and calculated and facebook-ed in the sidelines.

So I was looking forward to a nonsense post about me and all that, but then I got that itch, to write something. So many people are completely unawares of the undercurrents of BU115h1t, that has been flying around considering one certain incident in Grandpass, for those not in SL, let me give a brief intro, as I have stated before there are different factions here, both who have neatly pocketed themselves into ‘buddhist’ and ‘muslim’, zealots all of them, now the problem with zealots, is that they are ZEALOTS, they take everything too far, and way out of context. There are more incidents than I care to note, but this one incident that happened in the dark hours of Saturday, the 10th was what surprised me. No one would have expected such a horrid thing to happen, now that was the night I was pulling an all nighter, and through a message from a friend, I get to know that some bad shit is going down, now we knew that there was some bad blood here but no one expected a mosque to be attacked or a riot, and when I ended up trying to scour the online news articles, I found…rather it was what I didn’t find, there were about 2 articles, and it gave no indication of what was really happening or what was the current situation.

It was at this point I remembered I had some friends living in that area, one lived far away to still be aware of the clash but be safe from the whole situation, but the other was unfortunately caught in it, when I met my friend this week , I was shocked to see the injuries (while not fatal at all, were completely unwarranted .)

Now this coupled with the excessively rude posts and cyber bullying that these individuals hatch online, just makes this all silly, silly and rude. What's more is that they attack people based on hunches and a very skewed and illogical thinking. They basically attack anyone with an opinion. Personally, I think the whole thing is, (pardon my french) bullshit, Now I may be a bystander and maybe not 100% in the know, but I know what has happened was a complete rubbish bin.

So I won’t speak more about this, it has become utterly ridiculous , a media circus focusing on only one side of the heavily made up, powered and painted story while the other half of the cracked and broken up truth is conveniently swept under the rug.

Since this is actually something that happened a couple of weeks ago, I bet some of you had already forgotten what happened that day, such is the way of Lankans, we forget some, we remember some, but only to our convenience.

Till next post,

M

The Road to Gagra, Chapter 2 : Travelling companions

CHAPTER 2

When we last left our adventurer, she was riding off into the sunset, or rather the sunrise if you ‘re into the particulars.

Now Dammi, our protagonist, was a girl prepared, she brought plenty of tea, cookies, clean underwear and towels, one thing she forgot was water, so we find her by the side of the wooded road, by her motor buggy, sniveling over the fact that she had tea and cookies, but no water to make the tea .

She was so absorbed in her ranting that she didn’t see when a strange bespectacled creature came walking around a corner on the road. She didn’t notice him right until he came and said, “Excuse me , miss.”In a gravelly tone Halting Dammi mid-wail, “Is anything wrong, you seem quite upset.”

It was only then that Dammi got her first look at the stranger; he was short, furry and cute as a button, not to mention he wore the most curious waistcoat that she has ever seen.

“Oh it is nothing,” replied Dammi, “I was merely complaining about the world and its unjustness, I’m Dammi by the way,” she added with a smile.

And the strange, furry short being said, “I’m Thomas, the traveler ,” touching two clawed fingers to his hat For he wore a hat, a mini sombrero, held on his head by a faded blue ribbon tied under his furred chin.

“The Traveler,?” she asked, “Is that some kind of title,” as she walked around the buggy to get closer to Thomas.

“Yes, I am the appointed Traveler, of my people.” He added with a theatrical bow. Now that Dammi was closer enough to see Thomas, she found that his hat wearing head only came up to her mid-thigh. He wore only a strange looking belt with many pouches, a colorful patchwork backpack and his mini-sombrero, His hands and feet were tipped by short claws, in short he looked like a cross between a beaver and a squirrel.

Kneeling, so she was eye to eye with this new being, “Just who are your people? I have never seen someone of your kind.” She added unsure how to proceed in this sort of situation.

“Why my dear, we are the Chosur, we live up there in the mountains,” he said gesturing wildling behind him.

“I’ve never heard of the Chosur,” Dammi said, looking at Thomas, “Well Mr Traveler, then it is an honor indeed, you see I am myself a traveler, rather an adventurer.”

Looking around seeing no one, she bends closer to Thomas and whispers, “I’m on a quest you see, a quest to find Gagra.”

“Gagra?,” he muttered, the furry guy looked at her, and said in a curious tone, “Gagra, but that is...well that is..” he trailed off, “I seemed to have forgotten something,”

Wide eyed, Dammi grabs Thomas and says, “DO YOU KNOW WHERE IT IS?, oh please please tell me,” pleading and dropping Thomas.

Adjusting his sombrero and his pack he says, “Uhh well, I believe I might have been there at some point but that memory seems to have faded, it could be the work of an obliviation machinator or a magician. Of what little I remember of Gagra, I do remember a large tree, a river and a band of dancing red people.”

Dammi was shell shocked, merely a day into her quest she finds a mysterious clue in the form of Thomas the traveler, she asks tentatively, “Can you tell me, or give me any sort of clue ?”

“Well, I can’t, he says.” He tugs at his belt nervously and cringes when Dammi mutters in disappointment, “But I can find someone who can help.” He adds.

“REALLY!!” she exclaims and hugs the Chosur, “Well, What are we waiting for, get on, let’s go meet them.” She says as she runs to the buggy.

“Wait, Miss Dammi, it is getting dark we should make camp, we wil make way tomorrow, it is on the way to where I am going so I can introduce you too.” He said gesturing to the gathering darkness, the trees had fallen oddly quiet and the shadows had grown longer, Dammi shivered.

“I guess you have a point, “she gulped as she heard the howling of some strange creature. “Indeed,” the Chosur added with a grin, I will make us some dinner and tell you the story of who we will meet, he is Welika, the greatest sorcerer this side of Tampanni.”

And so our protagonist and her new travelling companion settled in for the night, by the side of the road to Gagra, bordered by the deep, dark woods.

The Road to Gagra, Chapter 1 : Introducing Our Erstwhile Protagonist

gentle meioa’s so, I’m sort of juggling with this fic, and yes it might have a few lankan hints so yeah, enjoy, I might update this like twice weekly so lay down your thoughts on what you think and what should happed I’d like to make this an interactive thing.

The road to Gagra was a peculiar road, it was the only road in all of Tampanni, it twisted and turned and at some stretched it was so straight that you thought the very horizon stood on its edge. Now, this road is oft travelled, but never from one corner to another, this is because no one really knew where it started or where it ended, and if someone did try to find one end, they often ended up travelling for years and getting off the road for the sake of sanity and a permanent bathroom fixtures. But our protagonist is no mere mortal, she is Dammi, daughter of Thani, daughter of Maniq, so she was a mortal with a pedigree, she came from a family of adventurers, why, her oldest brother Yenu, had gone adventuring in the Kanamadiri Forest the moment he reached his man-age. And often sent home packages filled with strange aboriginal jewelry (most times curse), beaded cloths (ma said it was a death shroud) and pickled and dried body parts of the various animals found in the forest, her older sister Namu had ridden off to the plains of the Behatta desert, there she sometimes remembered to sent them a letter or two when the effects of the cactus juice wore off. Dammi’s coming of age was a big thing, being the youngest of three means, you get spoiled rotten and at the same time have high hopes, so Dammi’s parents had prepared a ship to travel from Tampanni to Ingira. Now our protagonist, she isn’t like the rest of her family you see, she’s a lot more laid back, she wouldn’t mind living alone, being catered to her every whim by oiled pretty boys, she liked power, so early on she decided to herself, I’m going to be the most powerful, the most awesome ruler of Tampanni, granted she was 8 and no one believed her, but woe to them because shortly after she turned 13, she found a sure fire way to ensure her claim of true despotism, but according to her family she had responsibilities, so she decided, will wait till my woman-age, so on the night before she turned 18, she packed a bag with her belongings, a few boxes of tea, a tin of chocolate biscuits, she kissed the cheeks of her snoring parents and sneaked off into the night on her motor-buggy.

Now the aforementioned plan to despotism, that Dammi had come about was about the potential discovery of the beginning of the route to Gagra, and also, where in the world is Gagra, she had scoured the texts, the books and questioned wise old men and fools, but no one, NO ONE, knew what, where or who , was Gagra. So she thought one day after a pondering cup of tea, “I want to own the road to Gagra.” And so it was decided.

 

~End of Chapter 1~

Freedom of Belief and Miss Feminism: Miss-conceptions, Miss-understandings and Miss- apprehensions

So this is one of those rare posts where I tackle a more serious issue on the whole.
So I wanted to make a post about this to clear up some misconceptions and get my thoughts out there, before I begin let me say that I am not easily offended, I respect everyone’s beliefs and you are welcome to state yours in the comments below.
Now as a personal belief, I was brought up in a Christian household but one of my parents are from a Buddhist background (though this never actually affected me in anyway, i.e. difference of religions), I have never attended Sunday school, because both my parents worked and Sundays were the only real days they had a day off. But we did visit the different temples and kovils around Sri Lanka, and tried to attend church whenever we could. While I am not a deeply religious person, I do believe in God, and I believe that there are reasons things happen, I merely tend to go with the flow, I don’t believe that we must leave everything to divine intervention, one of my personal views is that, God doesn’t help those who don’t help themselves, he gave man free will to do as such, to believe in what we want to believe and why we need to believe it. And personally I harbor no hatred or contempt for those of other religions, because I went to mixed school, two of my closest friends were Muslim and Hindu, what I learned from growing up with them, I brought to my current views on the subject. It is basic courtesy to not eat or drink in front of someone who is fasting, its is also basic courtesy to not comment on ones religious and cultural beliefs. I came across this disturbing point as I was asking a Muslim friend about the pilgrimage to Mecca as I had watched a documentary about it the day before, my friend was cautious about answering the question as if expecting me to say some derogatory comment about the subject, but then did eventually warm up to the topic and explained to me about it all. I was surprised that I was NOT surprised that my friend would be cautious about this, since some individuals are trying to stoke the coals of war on this particular subject. And there are a few other friends with whom I avoid talking about the subject completely, I am sad that those that I associate with have such blunt and shuttered worldviews, and I will not be blaming them as many do, “Ahh, it is the way they were brought up, bad parenting.” This particular saying is not an excuse at all, I prefer to think that the way I was brought up and the way I grew up are different, you are the one who choses to believe or adopt an idea, and I will underline the fact Free Will. Regardless of your parenting, you must always strive to educate yourself so you may know more about life and the people around you. If you see people around me talking about subjects that involve the harassing or the ridiculing of people based solely upon their religious beliefs, culture, race, creed, etc., you will se me flinch and turn my head. There is only so much I can do, from personal experience I can tell you, dear reader, that when I attempted to defend this, to explain in a very reasonable tone, I was jeered at and ignored, (you just wait, what would you know, you’re just a girl, ahh you just think he is cute, why are you defending him/her, if you like them so much you should marry them), within the brackets you can see an example of what I have come across. I don’t hate you fools, But I do pity you, I pity the fact that you do not know, what it is like. Sri Lanka being a country, where the majority of the citizens are Buddhists, the rest might get a bit fuzzy. Now we had suffered enough, for 30 years there was a horrible was in this little country, one which I do not want to talk about because I believe while we should not forget the past, we should learn to forgive and live towards the future.
I wish there was someway to educate those people, but not everything is as easy as cheese, so while I can pray that these individuals get some sense into them form the gods above or the devils below, I will quote John Cleese for the purpose of a punch line to this topic.

Now onto the next topic : Feminism
Some of my girl friends and I talk about this topic once in a while, so I wanted to write a piece about this too.
What really is feminism,
OED: “Feminism”: 1. The qualities of females.
2. [After F. feminism.] Advocacy of the rights of women (based on the theory of equality of the sexes).
(term coined in the 19c.)
‘Advocacy of the rights of women’, now while this is correct, and gender equality applies and workplace equality, I want to get down to the little things.
Now in a society such as where I live in Sri Lanka, there is the belief (culture not religious) that all girls should be ladylike and act as such, respect your elders, respect your husband, respect the males and all that, Our country is one where arranged marriages still happen, whether people like it or not. Now while I am all for the respect of elders and people in general, I also expect that respect is returned, you see, respect works both ways.
What really incensed me is the way girls or women are talked about our society today, the mere showing of skin between your jeans and t-shirt, if your blouse billows open at the tops, if your dress is too tight, if you sit with your legs apart, if your skirts are too short, if your t-shirts are too low cut, if you wear heels, if you wear make up, if you don’t smile, and if you do smile.
Let me tell you a few things, I personally have experienced these things, now when I walk anywhere I don’t know and men are on the road I keep my head down and walk a bit faster and tighten the hold on my bag, I ignore the “ahh nangi’s” [translation : ahh little sister] and the hoots, and if I am waiting for someone on the road (one instance I was waiting after classes for my dad to pick me up) a group of boys passed, now let me tell you, would you smile at  bunch of complete strangers on the road? NO, so when I ignored them and pretended to fiddle with my mobile, I heard them not so silently saying, (wedek neha, machan, eki hinawenne wath neha ne – TRANSLATION : Not worth is dude, she wont even smile), so If I don’t smile I am a stiff and if I do smile, to them it would mean that I am interested in them and not just being genial. And one more thing that  have personally come across is my field of study, as I have put up on other posts, I am a mechanical engineering student, now this is a field that not many girls have chosen, and many in SL don’t even want to poke into, though I have come across a few brave souls (Yowza ladies!), I have been asked by lecturers, engineers and many other people, “this is not exactly a girl’s field is it? are you sure about this? It is a hard working field, will you be able to take on the responsibilities?” Guess what people, Yes, Yes and Yes. Now this is at a private university in SL, in the local universities, the female students and stuff have to endure even more horrifying and cringe worthy treatment, now I once attended an IT course in a local university (I wont say which and please do not ask) and in that class there was a girl who was also a language teacher at the same local uni, she was a very nice and polite girl, we got along well. Even the status of being a teacher didn’t exclude her from the verbal abuse and jokes, I remember one incident while the both of us were walking outside of the university, (she was holding a large umbrella, monsoon season) a bunch of university boys were walking by us and they were making rude and vulgar comments on the umbrella, and joking about, now at that time, I wasn’t sure about what to make of it so I looked at she, she just smiled and said, “Oh, don’t mind they are always like that.” 
It broke my heart that this sweet girl had to undergo this everyday, and should I also mention the fact that girls wearing a tad more modern-ish clothes at the local uni is asking for a rag, namely tight jeans, crop tops, sneakers, etc.
Now I want you, dear reader to see, the above paragraphs to see where I actually used the word ‘Feminism’ when referring to my experiences, didn’t find one did you?
so let me start now then. Society tells women to be lady like, to cross their legs, to cover their skin, to walk one way, talk one way and act one way, it is effectively taking away the very things that make us female, women like to be women, we like to dress nice, or comfortable, whether it is in short shorts or baggy pajamas, we like sneakers AND high heels, we like putting on makeup or we don’t, we are too sexual creatures so we should be able to talk about topics such as sex and sexuality without being harassed as being slutty or ‘asking for it’.
Another thing that I have come across, that makes me very sad is that women do not know their importance, their worth, there are women that give up careers to look after children and they are happy with that, (Well, I am not happy for you my dear), there are girls who only want to grow up get married and have babies (well I love babies and want to have them too) but you must be aware that you could be so much more, you could be an educator, an artist, a designer, an engineer, an astronaut, you could be bloody well anything, and don’t let society take it away.
I was once turned away from  a job because I was female, because the management thought that I wont be able to perform as well and they didn’t want to take a risk (even though I broke my back during their evaluation period, it all came down to my gender). I have girlfriends who wont do this or that because their boyfriends do want them to, I personally wouldn’t agree to that, a relationship is something that is a partnership, not a monopoly.
I need feminism so that women can know about what it means to be a woman, what it means to be female and to respect themselves and appreciate themselves more.
I have heard people complaining, “ara pissu gani, eki monada danne?” [TRANSLATION : That stupid woman, what would she know] or “oya kellek neh”[TR: Well you’re a girl, that’s why], too many times, it was a girl who bore you, it was a woman that held you in her own body for nine months, it was she who endured pain to give you life, it was she who fed you and clothed you (But I have the utmost respect to the single fathers, the uncles, brothers, grandfathers and guardians who have done so too, so don’t get my words wrong) It would also have been a female teacher you have in school, it would be a female you will marry (if not..RIGHT ON BRODA!) and it will be a female who will one day bear your children, now what is stupid about this woman? is it that she gave birth to you, or taught you, or loved you.
And one more thing, if someone calls you a feminist, don’t back track don’t say, “well no I’m not a feminist but I think this…” say yes, be proud and say “Why are you threatened by me,?”
You must learn to fight for yourself first ladies, don’t let anyone say anything different, remember everyone is an individual, no man was made more equal than the other, it is we who makes ourselves.
So recently I came across a post, rather a video by a certain lady by the name of Chimamamda Ngozi Adiche for TEDx titled ‘we should all be feminists’
I encourage everyone to watch it not only the ladies

Till next time, Dear reader

Killer Heels, Peter Capaldi and Sassy Hawking

So today was the first day that I ‘officially’ did my demonstration/instructions, of course the first few tries are going to be bumpy, overall it was okay, the first group had me stumbling over some of my words, since I think faster than I talk, and sometimes when the questions were asked I did do a total blond moment where I went ‘errrrrrrrrr’, other than that the rest was going smoothly. I did forego lunch though, not enough time and the schedules were hectic. and here I am with half an hour to spare before I punch out, blogging, I don’t mind, it gives me a different perspective and how I view the whole of my day.

And the term ‘Killer Heels’, I now understand it on a very personal level, they do literally kill your heels, toes and everything down. My toes were literally numb –_– .

Also while waiting for my students to finish I did google who the big star is, the 12th Doctor, A Peter Capldi, he’s older than Matt or Tennant, but you know what they say old is gold and he is a Timelord , I am anxious to see how it turns out with him and JLC in the mysterious bluebox. But before everything the DW anniversary is going to be the death of me, Matt, David and John Hurt O_O “THINGS WILL HAPPEN” mark my works, and fans will be horrified, heartbroken and shake their fists in the air at Steven Moffat.

He was in fires of Pompeii, when Tennant was the Doc, with Donna ( <3 ) , fun fact : K.Gillian was also there as a priestess of some weird undead thing

Speaking of the Moff, I caught the Sherlock S3 trailer, and while it had the appropriate suspense and thriller feel, I think I speak for 90% of the fandom when I say, Martin Freeman stole the show, or rather his glorious ‘stache did, I found my self giggling and muttering, ‘Rawla, Rawla’ (translation ‘stache, ‘stache ). I hope its worth the wait, people have been born and died between the last episode of S2 and the beginning of S3. :/

Also, Readers you know that I am currently reading ‘The theory of everything’, I came across 1 chapter, which reads ‘Blackholes ain’t so black’ all I could think was, Hawking, you sassy bastard.

Plus (I’m geeking out for a moment, blackholes really are not what you think they are –_- they have axes and are actually bright :/ and basically their nature can be summed up as “What happens in a blackhole, stays in a Blackhole”

What a world, anyway that’s if for me for today, busy day tomorrow too, my schedule I up there.

Till next time,

M

On Cecil Baldwin, kickass female characters and the Theory of Everything

 

So I’ve been hired again, this time by my own campus, where I’ll be playing lab instructor, so far the job is quite boring, this being the second day and the schedules not yet set, its still a bit weird working under the lecturers and counselors that I originally knew as a student, but I feel like I might be able to acclimatize, judging from previous experiences, I think that is what will definitely happen.

So I spend my ‘free’ time, sitting at the desk with my laptop infront of me, trying to finish up my final project, setting up and listing the practical testing procedures and of course blogging. I started this blog as a way to cool off and let go of the tension that accumulates and just blurb it out to the rest of the interwebs, therefore I find myself back on track. I also found myself rereading Stephen Hawking’s Theory of Everything (I mean the book, so don’t pull the ‘Einstein did it’ card on me). While I didn’t pursue Physics more than my advanced levels, I do have a passion for the subject, specifically Nuclear Fission, fusion and the mysteries of Astrophysics and cosmology. It might sound like a headful of smartypants, but I do genuinely understand and follow these topics for shits and giggles.

Getting back on track, I tend to write things down on this book, whether it is agreements, disagreements, jokes, vague and not so vague sci-fi references, insults to various physicists and so on, this isnt even a text book, or something I would normally buy for myself (I’m hoarding to buy some Sanderson and Butcher), I got this for christmas from my brother, he didn’t even know I was a closet physics nerd. Anyways here are some pictures:

Yeah, not exactly excellent quality, if it was, you could see the Doctor Who comment

Yes, I do jeer the russians on this page, tsk tsk Lifshitz and Khalatnikov, I love you but No, seriously NO

Coming away from Theories and all that, I want to point everyone in the direction of an absolutely excellent podcast [genre, plain fun and entertainment], its called ‘Welcome to Nightvale’ this is basically a radio show of the local radio station from a small town called nightvale in the America, run by the Radio DJ, He of the smooth voice, Cecil Baldwin, the stories he talk about involve the mayor, the town council, the thing that is the station manager, the various hooded figures, the dog park (which we aren't supposed to know about), the sheriff's secret police, the army from the the annals of the bowling alley (lane5) and of course Carlos, beautiful, honey voiced, smooth skinned, (Cecil’s supercrush) Carlos.

My Night vale fanart :3

This series is undeniable fun to listen to and makes anyone quirk their lips up in humor. Try it out.

Also Gentlemeioa’s, yes I did say that, probably because I am reading Jean Johnson’s ‘Theirs not to reason why’, its an excellent series, I’m on book number 3, if you are into Military Sci-fi, Telekinetic abilities and a kick ass no-nonsense female main character, you should definitely check this out.

That Ia, the main characater, no middle name, no last name, Just Ia

I’m also a massive fan of Ilona Andrews and the most recent book Magic rising was also excellent, once again awesome female character, this time urban fantasy , paranormal, sword fighting, etc.

Yeesh this lab is cold, I’m freezing and the only thing that is keeping my hand from going all shivery is my typing  -_- ,  I have a shit load of work to complete, and movies to watch, Pacific Rim, R.I.P.D., Man of steel, wolverine, Despicable Me 2, but all after September, and also it helps that I;ve a bunch of friends who agreed to have a massive hang out after this.  We found this fancy tea lounge that we want to hit up, and I want to sneak onto some isso wadey. With the Colombo book fair coming up, this holiday after my studies are gonna be heaven.

I was hoping for a day sleeping in tomorrow (saturday) since I have classes on in the afternoon, but I realized that I have very little office wear, all those t-shirts and Jeans and sneakers, not really responsible of me to wear them here, so shopping in the morning (atleast I’m getting shoes) . So Imma leave you loverlies with this bit.

Adios

M

Commercializing Hate

I don't usually write quite seriously or on a topic of certain sensitive matter , if one could call it that.

Hate has become quite the fad nowadays, and surprisingly its catching. I was under the impression that the current generation was far more open minded and accepting of the whole view and not the keyhole view on important topics. The emergence of the hate groups, which are unbelievably racist and controversial have proved me wrong over and over again, and what astounds me is that the main supporters are not the older generation waiting to pull out their old grievances but the younger generation who have yet to see the impact that this might have a a mending nation.
For nearly thirty years our country was nearly torn into pieces by a war which at the last few years of its existence was a bloody massacre on both sides, the reasons unclear and now that it has finally been put down, why are people still so bloodthirsty for another war that could tear and bring down the tentative relationships between the people of our country.

While I may not be on top of each an every update of the various situations in the country, I sure do understand the basic gist of the whole she-bang. When One accuses, the other retaliates, this becomes a dangerous tennis game where one group will end up getting beaten up by the other and then the second group responds likewise, then after all the bloodshed and mayhem, what exactly will be left behind, other than strange brown stains in the middle of the road, a bad taste in society’s mouth and a dark spot in everyone’s mind. What I am trying to say is that while a party may say something that may be against your views and insulting, sometimes retaliating is not the answer, while we must always be up to the task of defending our honour and beliefs, the understanding of where the line is drawn and where it should not be crossed must be imprinted on everyone. While the saying ‘An eye for an eye’ could be used, it is also taken horribly out of context, because ‘An eye for an eye, will leave the whole world blind.’ And merely turning the other cheek will not work.

I may say this and try to explain why, from all you might hear the words, but who will listen, thus is how the wheel turns. There is invariably that part of our being, of our very makeup that will not listen that wishes to rebel and to fight till the end, even the most pacifistic person has a stubborn streak.

Human nature will not change, now or in the near future, for we are creatures of war and of survival, the large portions of our history are recorded through wars, the survival of wars or the events leading up to wars, though the past can not be changed and the future in indeterminable, we can at least try to reign ourselves in, and maybe be able to survive a few thousand years more without wiping ourselves out.

What particularly made me want to write this piece was that when wars end, people are left in a state of ‘jetlag’, a hangover of sorts, so like any other addict suffering withdrawal, there is an underlying need for strife, one man proposes a war-like cause and the others grab on to it like drowning men and go along with it.

With todays media, these are still being wide spread, with the social media sites such as facebook, twitter, blogger , these causes are being advertised, people are shamed for going against the directives and rules of this one group. What does this accomplish but more problems, maybe its just me, a girl behind a keyboard, maybe I’m not worth listening or even reading this post, but the thing is, there are people who look and people who see, people who talk, and people who say, people who hear and people who listen, what I am saying is , try to find which one you are, and where you fit into the whole cake mix.

With that said, I must leave,

farewell readers, M